Thursday, June 28, 2012

What Society Expects

So... Today's the last day of my midyear common tests. After two weeks of partly working my brains out and partly wanting to heck care the exams, I'm extremely glad to say I'm finally free!

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I actually got inspiration for today's entry from my Literature paper today, and coincidentally it was also an issue that I've been wanting to share my opinions on too. The question posed was about individual's actions being shaped by societal expectations. The term "societal expectations" totally struck me - isn't this a perfect match with how the current society that we are surviving in behaving?

Before I go on, I'd just like to say that:
- Whatever that's stated in this entry are entirely my own personal opinions. I know that they do not apply to every single soul out there but I'm just saying that I feel majority of people subconsciously behave this way.
- This entry is not about going against my own sex, but because I'm a girl and girls tend to be more sensitive, and I feel that this issue is more prevalent amongst the female gender, and the entry would tend to be more against my gender. (I'm not saying that this doesn't happen in the male gender, but it is indeed more common in the female gender and that's why I'm able to relate to it well)

If you really don't feel comfortable reading this or if you figure that what I'm about to say is offensive, I sincerely apologise in advance and it's really best for you to not scroll down any further lol.

This. Is the thing about society. Society wants you to think that you're beautiful and you'd be loved in your own way. Yet society constantly picks on whatever you do, whatever you say, which guys/girls you date, what brand of cosmetics you use, how many pairs of heels do you own etcetc. and the list goes on and on.

Everyone wants to be accepted by society. Which person in the right mind doesn't want to have friends, doesn't want to be part of a romantic couple, doesn't want to be popular? I sure do.

And in order to achieve that, what should I do? Change myself according to what society wants and expects you to be so that you'll not be that "forever alone" kid eating lunch by himself/herself.

I'm not saying that people forcefully change themselves, although some do. Societal expectations, in my opinion, always influence people subconsciously. You may say you have the "LOL I don't give two fucks about what others think", but what if one day your friends leave you because you're not "the same" as them? Because you're not skinny, you're not good-looking enough, you're not fashionable enough? Would you change then?

1. Superficiality.
No, I'm not gonna preach about how superficiality is about inner beauty yadayadyada. That has been covered too many times. What I'm saying here is that people are over-concerned with their looks. Even romance now depended on looks.



"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder", you may say. But frankly speaking. Would you date a girl/guy you deem ugly? Would you even want to start a conversation with them?

Societal expectations becomes benchmarks of many,many individuals, in various aspects. And these expectations even merge with the purest feeling of all - love. Love has never been wanting to fall for someone "cute". From what I believe, love is supposed to be a gradual feeling, what you genuinely feel for that special someone despite their outer appearances.

2. Insecurities.
I feel insecure many a times, during school, while shopping and even when talking to my closest friends. It's because I feel that sometimes I'm just too inferior in so many aspects of life as compared to them. I want to be able to match up with them. Any of you ever felt this way too?


Face it. Majority of guys and girls workout and diet because they want to look good. When you look good, you feel good too. People are willing to talk to you. You won't feel afraid asking your crush out. But everyone would have insecurities in one way or another, because society's expectations are always getting higher. And people struggle to meet them everyday. Notice how the phrase "The higher you expect, the lower you fall" comes in?

3. Self-set expectations.
This is where people judge your abilities based on what you look like. "She's fat so she can't dance."" He's short so he can't dunk a basketball.""He/She is ugly so they can't hang out with us." Society's expectations has formed this mindset in people. And it's really such a big pity.

Judging people's abilities based on what they look like is something that I really detest. Frankly speaking, I do it too. But I'm really trying my best to stop this repulsing habit. And everyone who does it should too. Who the fuck are you to judge anyone's talents based on their outer appearances? Remember, looks can lie. Never judge a book by it's cover - you may miss out on a good read.

Society can build us up gradually, but societal expectations could bring us down right to the bottom of the abyss of our hearts. Yet it is also not fair to blame society fully - afterall WE are what society is made up of.
Perhaps if everyone would a step back and stop expecting so much, more people would be willing to show off their naked faces. I know not ALL people are judgemental, I'm just saying those people who do it should stop. For all you know, without so many expectations, life might be easier to live in, and where people could fall in love with their eyes closed.

Each time you frown at yourself in the mirror, always remember that there was once a little you who didn't even need a mirror :)

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Cheers! xoxo