In this universe there are many, many, many things that I tend to feel happy about. I feel accomplished finding a perfect fitting dress. I feel great helping out someone in need. I feel kind showering stray animals with love. I feel altruistic after donating blood. I feel good when my hair looks perfect. I feel satisfied after an amazing meal.
It's really easy to make a person smile, don't you think?
But it's even easier to make a person upset.
Despite being all confident on the outside, have you guys ever wondered how fragile someone's emotions may be on the inside? One sentence, one comment, one word is all it takes to ruin someone's day.
My day got ruined when I got called "huge". I admit, I'm not as small as what other girls my height should be, and I'm definitely not as slim. I. Get. That. Already. So why do people still take joy in reminding me of my flaws which I'm so particularly sensitive about???
If this makes you happy, I wear a UK 8-10 in most apparels. Ha, now you can mock me for being fat. Are you happy now? Does that feed your ego? Do you feel better about yourself now?
I don't ask for compliments, and don't get me wrong, I don't mind if people talk to me about my size. I am even capable of poking fun of myself because there's really nothing to hide; I am not as small, and that's really about the most ocular of truth that I can provide. I am open about it but at the same time it's still a personal issue which I'm especially insecure of.
It sucks, okay. The fact that your own insecurity is being picked upon right in your face and all you could do is to add another layer of depression to the already burdening one that you've got to deal with yourself. I'm telling you it sucks because not only do I have to deal with my own reflection each day, I have to deal with your comments because it can weigh on my mind for forever.
Does that prick your conscience? I hope it does coz that's the intended effect.
Everyone has their own insecurities. Mine's my size. Okay, so now we're clear, quit reminding me of how "big" I am because I get that, loud and clear. There's really so much more interesting stuff that we can talk about - You could ask me how my day went, and I'd tell you it went by lovely because I met nice people and I was nice to them as well. You see? That's how the world becomes a better place. I don't wanna hate on anyone more than myself, so don't make me.
I'll thank you in advance,
Chels x
